Monday, May 8, 2017

Letters to Emersyn - 2months old

Dear Emersyn,

Time is flying by and I am so conflicted by emotion. Im overwhelmed with joy and excitement but at the same time my heart hurts everyday as you seem to grow another inch... further and further away from the tiny newborn we brought home from the hospital.

You've complete our family. We're now a party of four (five including Hera) and we feel whole. (Although I miss your sister Payton everyday and wish she was here. One day you will know all about her too). I can't wait to include you in the Mommy and Daughter things me and Charleston do. You have already adapted to being our shopping buddy and partner in crime.

I didn’t get around to writing to you on your actual 2 month birth day. Its been crazy with two babies around. This month you went from an itty, bitty, tiny newborn to a baby. I need time to freeze for a little while.
Our day started with a check-up at the doctors’s office where you weighed in at 9 pounds and 11 ounces and measured almost 22 inches long. You met all your milestones. Cooing….Check. Smiling…check. Turning to sounds….check. Following objects with your eyes…check. Although all these accomplishments are to be celebrated, Its never easy when the tray of shots enter the room. (and I have no issue when shots, needles or blood - your daddy on the other hand can not even be in the same room)

I've always thought that the second child would be easier, and whereas there are some things that are smoother, there is also knowledge. Knowledge of what happens when your baby is about to get a shot. The ensuing tears and screams. The long day of discomfort. I think the phrase "ignorance is bliss" applies to parenting your first child. Now that I know what is going to happen, there seems to be a stronger anxiety that grips my heart.

In your 2nd month in this big ole world, you have said goodbye to spring and hello to summer. The summer brings with it many traditions in our family ranging from trips to Orlando and frequent visits to the water park and even the beach. I can't wait to see how you react your first time at the beach, or even DISNEY!

Your sister has really warmed up to you. She now runs into the bedroom in the morning peeking her little eyes above the bed to see you. She cares where you are and wants to be near you all the time. She loves giving you kisses. Her hugs are more like headlocks, but this too shall pass. I hope that you share the same affection for one another as the years roll on. I desire for you girls to be the best of friends. Just like your Aunt Brandy and I.

I love watching your eyes move to the rhythm of the world, seeing you explore the room around you and learning who you are. It’s fun to witness all
your “firsts.” The next month will bring more excitement and more memories. I am beyond
blessed that I get to be your mommy.

I love you always,
Mommy






Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Letters to Emersyn - 1 Month Old

Dear Emersyn,

If there is one thing you will learn about life, it's that it's unpredictable. And I will always remember every detail about the day you were born, even though I couldn't predict a single moment of it. On the day you were born.. When I saw Dr. Fisher on Wednesday we decided to schedule another NST on Friday because your movements had slowed down. Little did I know you would be here that evening.

You have grown so much already in your first month and I am amazed every day at how much you change. During your first month of life, It's been a steady stream of changes and getting used to everything. Being a family of four, Watching your BIG sister as she's truly in love with you and wants to help mommy with everything. You are so curious. Not only do you look around in amazement, but you look around in wonderment. I wish I could know wha you are thinking, as your expressions are just priceless.

At one month old you weigh 6lbs. 4oz. Your still in newborn diapers. Most newborn clothes are still too big so we have a few preemie outfits for you. Unlike your sister, you love to be swaddled. And you will take snuggles anyway you can get them. Especially at 3am.

My favorite thing that you do is smile in your sleep. From the day you were born, you smiled in your sleep. Someone once told it means you are talking to the angels and I know this to be true because you have some of the very best guardian angels watching over you. I will tell you all about your Big sister, Payton one day. You also love to clasp your hands together and it looks like you are praying. It is the sweetest thing.

You are just like your big sister, Charleston in that you have quite the appetite and when you want to eat, you want to eat now. You have 3/4 oz roughly every 3 hours. You are starting to sleep more and more through the night, and even though I like my sleep too, I find that I stare at you when you sleep. When you finally stir and give out a little squeak, I can not wait to kiss your sweet little cheeks and watch you fall back asleep. Before bed every night we cuddle up in the bed to settle down and having you in my arms and your sister cuddled up beside me is by far my one of my favorite things.

The only thing that overwhelms me is watching just how fast you are growing already. Even though the nights were sleepless in the beginning, it seems as if your first weeks disappeared in a blink of an eye and I am begging for them back. Every day you are completely different. I am so excited to see you grow, yet wishing time would slow down so I could savor these moments longer. Maybe that is why I sometimes just sit and start at you, wishing the clock would stop for just a moment so I can remember every detail of your newborn skin.

The bond between you and your sister is already strong. The way you just stare at her when she's rocking your or holding you is precious. I'm so excited to watch you two grow up and change together. I hope you girls are just as close as your Aunt Brandy and I are.

Get ready, sweet baby.. this life of yours is going to be a wild adventure and I hope its everything you could dream of.

I'll love you always,
Mommy



Monday, March 27, 2017

Pregnancy, The Third Trimester Part 3

As with every stage of pregnancy, it’s a mixed bag of emotions and feelings. I want time to hurry up and slow down all at once. Physically, I want to be done, I’m in a lot of pain most the time. Emotionally, I’m good with being pregnant awhile longer, especially since this is most likely the last time I will be. I'm not 100% sure I'm done, but Richard says no more. 

Even with all the change ahead, I’m feeling pretty at peace with it, which is saying a lot for me since I tend to prefer to know exactly how things are going to play out. I don’t know a lot of much right now, actually. We have so much to do – we’re rearranging 3 rooms in the house, Trying to transition Charleston off the pacifier & start thinking about potty training … life is changing all at once. Charleston has taught me so much about learning to go with the flow and here we already, learning that lesson again as Emersyn is making her way into our world. A lot is going to change in the next couple of months and I have to keep reminding myself that it will all work out one way or another.


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The sickness I felt in the first trimester lingered a few weeks into my 2nd, so I was hopeful that I would continue to feel great a few weeks into my 3rd trimester. I was wrong. At around 26/27 weeks I started getting sharp pains in my back! Stronger then normal. I think she is sitting on my sciatic nerve and it doesn’t feel great. It’s hard to walk sometimes. When putting pressure on my right leg while walking, a sharp shooting pain will almost bring me to my knees. It’s intense! It’s worse some days than others and I’m hopeful that she will move off my nerve and this won’t continue for the rest of my pregnancy- REALLY hopeful. Ha!


Also starting to get pain in my pelvic floor. Carrying around an extra 20 lbs is doing a number on my pelvis. My legs go numb around my hips every night and she loves to keep me up at night doing gymnastics in my uterus. Don’t get me wrong, I am thankful for every little ache and pain. I know how blessed I am to be able to experience pregnancy, so I try to remember that when I’m laying in pain on my couch. It’s weird how much you can love someone who is causing you such discomfort. Ha!


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Charleston is going to be such a great big sister. She loves giving Emersyn kisses every night! She blows raspberries. It's too funny! I think she might be a little confused when the baby is no longer in my tummy but actually here. I'm sure she will catch on quick. 


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Friday, December 23, 2016

Made it through the SECOND TRIMESTER!

Im not going to lie, my second trimester was not any easier then my first. The nausea finally stopped! Which is a huge relief... how does anyone function with all that! whew! Hunger seems to come and go. Some days im hungry and some days Im not. Most days I have no appetite for anything.. but whats new from previous pregnancies. These girls don't like food! Like the other 2, shes likes her sugar and chocolate. I have eaten more sugar this time around. Since having an anterior placenta I don't feel her that often, so I eat a handful of sour gummy bears - and shes all over the place! I've decided if thats how im going to get my kick counts in this pregnancy then i'm not going to complain. I mean we all know my candy addiction is REAL anyways!

I did have a scare the beginning of the trimester, because some of my blood came back abnormal. I was not going to worry about it, bc it always comes back with abnormalities.. but this was with one of the genetic testing. The spina bifida one - the levels came back high. I went and saw a maternal specialist. Something I had to do by myself, and after Payton - this is never an appointment you should do by yourself. Thankfully everything came back out. My levels were one point over the failing point. But the doctors still want to treat me as if im high risk and keeping an eye on everything. So for the remaining of the pregnancy I will see the doctor ever 2 weeks. Every 4 weeks will be a normal check up and every 2 weeks I will have an ultra sound to make sure she is growing on schedule.



















I feel like Emersyn looks so much like Payton too. She's is roughly about 2lbs, so a little smaller then the girls at this point. We will see how much she grows... and me... in the next few weeks.

Sunday, October 30, 2016

Baby Carbonaro #3 is a.....

We normally do a gender reveal get together when we find out.. but this year we are getting into the holiday season, so we opted out on it. We have known for a few days, but could not come up with a cute way to announce it. I mean you know I cant just say hey were having a ..... I have to do something cute and creative! 

Well we had an extra pumpkin at my mother n laws and we wanted to carve it with Charleston anyways - so I took advantage of it and used it to announce our gender! 

Now if you think I had a hard time trying to decide how to do the gender reveal you should of seen us trying to pick a name! Of course every name I liked, Richard did not. He likes the generic boring names (sorry not sorry), but I like something unique and personality. I mean my name is Bjana. lol. Finally we narrowed down a name.. 



Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Surviving The First Trimester


You would think since this was my third time around, I would have this mastered...
Since week 4 (we found out I was pregnant at 2 weeks) my energy levels have just been pitiful. I've been so freaking tired that most days I had to physically force my legs to take steps. I was constantly fighting the urge to take naps and tried my best to take one during Charleston's afternoon naps. Some days it was during both naps. I usually collapsed into bed about 7pm, right after Charleston went down.
I have really felt like the worst mom ever these last few weeks. Charleston's has become so active and it takes more energy then I have to keep her entertained. I have found that I can be pretty creative while laying on the couch. I just hope I haven't ruined her life by letting her watch numerous Disney's movies while mommy grows a baby.
On top of the none existent energy levels, I've been nauseated enough for 10 pregnant women. I had basically no nausea with Payton or Charleston. And then with this one it just hit me like a bus. I could handle the "morning" sickness, but this has been an all day every day thing. Mixed with dizziness and headaches that don't help. There has been plenty of moments I have had to talk my self out of blowing chunks everywhere. I've only hurled a few times, the worse in Walmart parking lot.. with Richard yelling at me to not get any on him while I was trying to put Charleston in the cart before I got any on her.
Even with all of that chaos I don't think those are the worse symptoms of the first trimester.... poor Richard! One minute I could be on top of the world, happy as ever. And the next minute I could be holding back tears yelling at him for who knows what. Emotional highs and lows, plus an absurdly short fuse.. they never go well together. Luckily they still love me and know mommy is just going through the crazies and hope the worst has past.. as do I.

My bump showed up just as fast as the other two pregnancies, but not growing as fast. I have been reassured the baby is just fine, and is actually measuring a week bigger then what I am. We tried to find out the sex at week 12 like we did with the other two, but baby was not sitting in the right position. So for now, its still baby C and we should find out at the end of October.






It still amazes me how much is developed in the first trimester. Baby C is now fully formed. Baby C has arms, hands, fingers, feet, and toes. The brain, spinal cord and other tissue of the central nervous system is formed. All that and Baby is still only the size of a peapod.

Baby C has grown so much...
8Weeks 3Days


12Weeks 3Days







Saturday, August 20, 2016

Family Photos

We were seriously due for some updated family photos, so we enlisted in our favorite photographer Kaity with VIDP. We decided to do these in Columbia at the state house so she did not have to travel. I had a hard time finding something to wear, bc I really loved the Vera Bradley dress Charleston has on and my shirt matched perfect. I really did not want Richard in orange, but the green in the dress instead. But of course I could not find it in his size...so to him we are in Clemson colors, but I don't think that way. lol. (least im trying not too).






Since Charleston had just turned ONE as well, we also took advantage and got some first birthday photos as well :)





Well... we also had another reason to do family photos..... 


Our family is growing by ANOTHER 2 feet!!!!!