Monday, May 8, 2017

Letters to Emersyn - 2months old

Dear Emersyn,

Time is flying by and I am so conflicted by emotion. Im overwhelmed with joy and excitement but at the same time my heart hurts everyday as you seem to grow another inch... further and further away from the tiny newborn we brought home from the hospital.

You've complete our family. We're now a party of four (five including Hera) and we feel whole. (Although I miss your sister Payton everyday and wish she was here. One day you will know all about her too). I can't wait to include you in the Mommy and Daughter things me and Charleston do. You have already adapted to being our shopping buddy and partner in crime.

I didn’t get around to writing to you on your actual 2 month birth day. Its been crazy with two babies around. This month you went from an itty, bitty, tiny newborn to a baby. I need time to freeze for a little while.
Our day started with a check-up at the doctors’s office where you weighed in at 9 pounds and 11 ounces and measured almost 22 inches long. You met all your milestones. Cooing….Check. Smiling…check. Turning to sounds….check. Following objects with your eyes…check. Although all these accomplishments are to be celebrated, Its never easy when the tray of shots enter the room. (and I have no issue when shots, needles or blood - your daddy on the other hand can not even be in the same room)

I've always thought that the second child would be easier, and whereas there are some things that are smoother, there is also knowledge. Knowledge of what happens when your baby is about to get a shot. The ensuing tears and screams. The long day of discomfort. I think the phrase "ignorance is bliss" applies to parenting your first child. Now that I know what is going to happen, there seems to be a stronger anxiety that grips my heart.

In your 2nd month in this big ole world, you have said goodbye to spring and hello to summer. The summer brings with it many traditions in our family ranging from trips to Orlando and frequent visits to the water park and even the beach. I can't wait to see how you react your first time at the beach, or even DISNEY!

Your sister has really warmed up to you. She now runs into the bedroom in the morning peeking her little eyes above the bed to see you. She cares where you are and wants to be near you all the time. She loves giving you kisses. Her hugs are more like headlocks, but this too shall pass. I hope that you share the same affection for one another as the years roll on. I desire for you girls to be the best of friends. Just like your Aunt Brandy and I.

I love watching your eyes move to the rhythm of the world, seeing you explore the room around you and learning who you are. It’s fun to witness all
your “firsts.” The next month will bring more excitement and more memories. I am beyond
blessed that I get to be your mommy.

I love you always,

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Letters to Emersyn - 1 Month Old

Dear Emersyn,

If there is one thing you will learn about life, it's that it's unpredictable. And I will always remember every detail about the day you were born, even though I couldn't predict a single moment of it. On the day you were born.. When I saw Dr. Fisher on Wednesday we decided to schedule another NST on Friday because your movements had slowed down. Little did I know you would be here that evening.

You have grown so much already in your first month and I am amazed every day at how much you change. During your first month of life, It's been a steady stream of changes and getting used to everything. Being a family of four, Watching your BIG sister as she's truly in love with you and wants to help mommy with everything. You are so curious. Not only do you look around in amazement, but you look around in wonderment. I wish I could know wha you are thinking, as your expressions are just priceless.

At one month old you weigh 6lbs. 4oz. Your still in newborn diapers. Most newborn clothes are still too big so we have a few preemie outfits for you. Unlike your sister, you love to be swaddled. And you will take snuggles anyway you can get them. Especially at 3am.

My favorite thing that you do is smile in your sleep. From the day you were born, you smiled in your sleep. Someone once told it means you are talking to the angels and I know this to be true because you have some of the very best guardian angels watching over you. I will tell you all about your Big sister, Payton one day. You also love to clasp your hands together and it looks like you are praying. It is the sweetest thing.

You are just like your big sister, Charleston in that you have quite the appetite and when you want to eat, you want to eat now. You have 3/4 oz roughly every 3 hours. You are starting to sleep more and more through the night, and even though I like my sleep too, I find that I stare at you when you sleep. When you finally stir and give out a little squeak, I can not wait to kiss your sweet little cheeks and watch you fall back asleep. Before bed every night we cuddle up in the bed to settle down and having you in my arms and your sister cuddled up beside me is by far my one of my favorite things.

The only thing that overwhelms me is watching just how fast you are growing already. Even though the nights were sleepless in the beginning, it seems as if your first weeks disappeared in a blink of an eye and I am begging for them back. Every day you are completely different. I am so excited to see you grow, yet wishing time would slow down so I could savor these moments longer. Maybe that is why I sometimes just sit and start at you, wishing the clock would stop for just a moment so I can remember every detail of your newborn skin.

The bond between you and your sister is already strong. The way you just stare at her when she's rocking your or holding you is precious. I'm so excited to watch you two grow up and change together. I hope you girls are just as close as your Aunt Brandy and I are.

Get ready, sweet baby.. this life of yours is going to be a wild adventure and I hope its everything you could dream of.

I'll love you always,

Monday, March 27, 2017

Pregnancy, The Third Trimester Part 3

As with every stage of pregnancy, it’s a mixed bag of emotions and feelings. I want time to hurry up and slow down all at once. Physically, I want to be done, I’m in a lot of pain most the time. Emotionally, I’m good with being pregnant awhile longer, especially since this is most likely the last time I will be. I'm not 100% sure I'm done, but Richard says no more. 

Even with all the change ahead, I’m feeling pretty at peace with it, which is saying a lot for me since I tend to prefer to know exactly how things are going to play out. I don’t know a lot of much right now, actually. We have so much to do – we’re rearranging 3 rooms in the house, Trying to transition Charleston off the pacifier & start thinking about potty training … life is changing all at once. Charleston has taught me so much about learning to go with the flow and here we already, learning that lesson again as Emersyn is making her way into our world. A lot is going to change in the next couple of months and I have to keep reminding myself that it will all work out one way or another.


The sickness I felt in the first trimester lingered a few weeks into my 2nd, so I was hopeful that I would continue to feel great a few weeks into my 3rd trimester. I was wrong. At around 26/27 weeks I started getting sharp pains in my back! Stronger then normal. I think she is sitting on my sciatic nerve and it doesn’t feel great. It’s hard to walk sometimes. When putting pressure on my right leg while walking, a sharp shooting pain will almost bring me to my knees. It’s intense! It’s worse some days than others and I’m hopeful that she will move off my nerve and this won’t continue for the rest of my pregnancy- REALLY hopeful. Ha!

Also starting to get pain in my pelvic floor. Carrying around an extra 20 lbs is doing a number on my pelvis. My legs go numb around my hips every night and she loves to keep me up at night doing gymnastics in my uterus. Don’t get me wrong, I am thankful for every little ache and pain. I know how blessed I am to be able to experience pregnancy, so I try to remember that when I’m laying in pain on my couch. It’s weird how much you can love someone who is causing you such discomfort. Ha!


Charleston is going to be such a great big sister. She loves giving Emersyn kisses every night! She blows raspberries. It's too funny! I think she might be a little confused when the baby is no longer in my tummy but actually here. I'm sure she will catch on quick.